Oh Hey

A L L O W   M E   T O   R E I N T R O D U C E   M Y S E L F...

I know it's been a while since I've blogged and I'm SURE you're wondering why I think I can just roll back around here like I own the place. Well, firstly because it's my blog. Secondly, because I feel like I've been waiting to reach a "perfect" and "inspiring" weight and physique to be able to help other people. But I'm realizing now that it's where I've come from that gives me credibility, not so much the massage license, the personal training certification or the jobs in group fitness.

I started this blog to try and take the guesswork out of beginning to adopt a healthy lifestyle. When I started, I was in massage school eating salad that had more ranch dressing than lettuce and thought I was being healthy. I was spending hundreds on a gym membership only to go on the treadmill for a bit. I was still friends with people who laughed at my efforts to change and that, I think, was my biggest setback. 

F I N D I N G   S E L F - L O V E   I N   A   H O P E L E S S   P L A C E

Have you ever felt like a you were playing the sidekick in someone else's movie? I totally did. For a really long time I felt like a supporting character. It's not like I didn't know I had value, it's just that I got that feeling from the wrong places. 

I won't say that I was the "fat friend", but I was always the one who guys came over to talk to just to ask what my friend thought about them. I didn't really mind until I realized that it was kind of the ONLY reason guys would talk to me. My leading ladies weren't always helpful, either. I showed one a picture of a guy I liked and she said, "don't introduce him to me." It was so hurtful- and so surprising- to hear a person who I called my best friend say that right to my face

I'm not very good at forgive and forget. I over-forgive and make excuses for people and I NEVER forget. But I kind of consider that a good thing. Because those moments of pain, of being pushed down, made rising up SO much better. 

It's funny what happens when you start to change your lifestyle. I didn't do it so that guys would talk to me just to talk to me. I did it because I found myself to be totally boring and kind of sad. Here I was, in massage school trying to help people with their wellness and health and I wasn't even well myself. I couldn't speak to how to live a healthy life.

You realize who your real friends are and that helps you to realize what is truly valuable about you. When I started being healthier and having goals for myself, like completing Insanity, I had friends try to push me down. They'd ask why I was doing what I was doing. They would make jokes about my new habits or glorify their excuses to me and hurt my feelings. The more pain they'd cause, the more I'd wake up and distance myself from these people.

So yeah, changing your lifestyle may not only change your waist line or your strength. It can change who you consider a friend. And that can be scary. But once you find people who relate to you and celebrate you and WANT to see you be happy, you don't miss the lackey lifestyle anymore.

The reason I continued to be drawn to Team Beachbody and online coaching over the years wasn't just because the challenges and Shakeology worked for me. There is a sense of community. People on Facebook who "liked" what I was up to helped me realize I'm not alone in wanting to better myself. The community of coaches I'm a part of is so supportive and a truly beautiful group of people.

If you find that any of my story sounds like yours, talk to me. I want to know the you behind the smiling Facebook picture. I promise I can help by walking beside you and lifting you up, not breaking you down.